poem

I love winter
because the break are longer.
It doesn't like summer.
People feels colder.
Only thing I know
Is it will snow.
I can go skiing,
Or ice skating.
I can eat cookies
And receive some gifts.

Winter Alice Blog9

Thanks god we are free at last. 

These two weeks may be the most difficult weeks of the year. After Thanksgiving break my heart had already flew back to home. During the Thanksgiving I went to New York City instead of going back home. It has been 3 and a half month since last time I sleep on my soft big bed. I can not wait to jump into my bedroom.

American’s vocations are much better Chinese’s vocations. After 3 years stayed in America, I can still remember that fear of charging by homework. ‘Chinese vocation is not for having rest, but for changing a place to do works.’ When I heart about how much homework my friends have during the National holidays, I felt so lucky I have the chance to study in America. Those homework are not prepared for human.(But they have their special ways to finish it, I miss that time a lot. That was painful but joyful.) 

My flight will be on Friday. Plus 14 hours for flying and 13 hours time differences, I can get back to home at Saturday night. I know my mother and my grandparents miss me a lot, so the first thing I will do is giving them a big hug. I suddenly realize that I am totally different than last time I saw them. I am an adult in China now. 

One of my best friend who studies in England is now having winter break either. Finally I can play the card game I really want to play called Yu-Gi-Oh. This kind of trading card game is not that famous in America except some big cities for example New York or Boston, but they are the most popular trading card game in the world. 

One of the most important thing is eating delicious food! I can not believe that it has been 3 month from summer vocation, but it is true that I have not eaten delicious home food for a long time. Even it seems like I just finish my summer vocation, my stomach tells the differences. Time in my mind is mixed up,so I can not analyze which thing happened first, summer vocation or my junior year. 

I want see one person I miss the most. That will be the top thing in my winter break. My hair turns white quicker than normally does so I have to deal with it. 

Things are left are some unnecessary things. Relaxing will be the main beats of my winter break. I have no homework so I must catch this short time to enjoy myself.

The last 3 days of winter break will be tough. Maybe I will waste all of my time thinking about ‘I don’t want to go back to school!’. That must be true. I am facing another 3 months after winter break. Well, I need to get ready for SAT and maybe a TOFEL test now.

My Thanksnewyork break

                                                             My Thanksnewyork break      Do you know why I have such a long Thanksgiving break? I don't know, either. Even though I am not a religious Western Country person, I chose to enjoy the Thanksgiving break because I was so grateful that I had a long vocation. Thanksgiving to us is not only a religious festival, but a kind of good time for resting. What I have done to do during the Thanksgiving break are as follows.
First, as the name of the break“Thanksgiving” tells us. I tried to do some to thank somebody. My father came to America and spent my thanksgiving. 'As we are growing up, we become concerned more and more about how much we have got now, how much we want to get in the future but less concerned about how much we have contributed to others' I wanted to know how much we can contribute to the our parents. I went to New York with my friends, but then I decided to take my father. 
     My father seemed like he loves to stay with us. We spent all the time together in the New York City. Gordon went with me either. We lived beside Time square. I was not satisfied because the hotel room is a little bit small. Considering about changing a bigger room, my father said it is enough for him, so I stopped thinking about that problem. The trip to New York was amazing. The first time staying New York City gave me a deep memory. Different with another busy city Shanghai, Manhattan gave me a tiny feeling. I can say that the population in Manhattan in usual today can even compare with those busy cities in China. My father and I went to the Central Park because my father really wanted to see it. As my vision, it is completely same as those parks in China, but my father disagreed with me. He said those people playing and training in the park make him memorize his childhood. Chinese people are now working only for money. Everyone is chasing for a high place in the community. Thing left in people’s mind is profit. Chinese already forgot their lives should be. What we saw in the central park is how people should live. I understood part of his idea, but those were the words spoken out by a successful person. If we were still thinking about where could we find the next meal, can we still talk about lives easily?

My New York trip was full of Chinese hamburger. Since the first time Allen Liu found a place to buy a kind of delicious Chinese hamburger, some people could not stop themselves to go to buy those food as their meals. The hotel room was full of the smell of Chinese Hamburger.

The last 2 days of the trip, we used them in hotel. We watched a television series together and enjoyed the last few days for our vocation.

Generally, that was the most fun Thanksgiving vocation I ever had.

Summary

His blog post are usually relate to politics. In the most recent blog he talks about how Romney is a straight person to be the president. Another blog post talks about Darwin's biological work actually relate to the god. Evolution is not a belief but it is pushed forward by belief. He likes to talk about religion and government which is really free in America. What present in his blog post are some ideas and advice to the government how to govern the country.

3 choice

1. Leo's amazing fantasy. I love fantasy,too. It is fun to read Leo's work because it let me take a trip to the dream world. Everything is fake but they are more attractive.

2. Nina's safe place. Sometimes I lose my sense of safety. People feel helpless sometimes and they really need something to keep them feel safe. I love the warm feeling with my familiar stuffs.

3.Gordon's fun stories. I can not find my clothes now. Gordon's work works on me. I always waste a lot of time on looking for clothes in the morning and now I understand they went to another world.

Revision 2

                                                    The secret of happiness

I have a secret that keeps me being happying all the time. Do you want to know it?    There is a place in the world you can not find, but I know where it is. That place seems close to the our community, but it is totally different from ours. Fortunately, I have the luck to take a view of this wonderful place. That was an dark evening, I had a headache caused by a tough mistake. At the last day of Thankgiving Break, I found that I had a lot of homework on the portal. I had no enough time to finish it. “Maybe I should take a little walk out side. I need some fresh air and a silent environment to think about it.” I think. The soft wind blew on my face, which made my eyesight became fuzzy. In the unseen world, a strange force attracted me to the backfield. Far away from the blackfield, it seemed like therewas a red light shining in the sky. “That’s impossible. There is no light like that at the backfield and it is not a plane. The shape looks like...a tall tower!” My curiosity forced me to step out to it. 

Closing to the cloud-kissing radio tower, I suddenly felt a burst. When I recovered my eyesight, I found that I was in a huge city. Around the tower, there is a tall wall around it. The tall radio tower may be the center of the city, which controls everything. I looked around,it was full of high-rise building. Several fountains made the city become more beautiful. I was amazed because I could not see anyone on the road, but I am sure someone was taking care of this clean city. On the radio tower, I saw the name of the city, Waterfront Park City.

I love the feeling when I walked alone on the road. There was no one talked to me so I felt relax mentally. Nothing would disturb me and I felt I am the most special one. When I am doing something else, for example playing video games, I always like to choose some characters different with others’ choice. This unique feeling can always satisfies my vanity. 

When I reached the edge of the city, a big lake around the city stopped me. I stepped forward because the time was very late, then I found that I could step on the lake but did not touch the water. I turned around and tried to take a full view of the city, and I found I direction signal “Worries Lake. Remember to be happy everyday!”  The lake around the city has a special ability, it can save everyone’s sadness in it. I tried to tell to the lake about my headache. Suddenly the kind burst that I had in front of the radio tower came again. I saw some spirits came out from the lake in a trance. They were closer and closer with big smiling. They flew around me and started to cast something. I saw some dark things floated to them and suddently those white spirits turned to darker. They flies back with angry faces and disapeared in the water. the spirit in the lake absorbed those worries! Then a sound appeared in my mind. “The more worries it absorbs, the darker the water is. I felt that my world was becoming bright. ” Now the lake is still present as sky blue.When I have something that makes me feel depressed, I can come back to the lake. Maybe in some day it will be dark as ink, but at that time I will be old. 

 I never tell about the city with my friends, because I do no want the lake to turn dark too fast. Actually, the lake was transparent, before I told it I had homework during Thanksgiving break.

Creative rivision

                                                          There is a place you can not see

There is a place in the world you can not find out, but I know where it is. That place seems close to the our community, but it is totally different with ours. Fortunately, I have the luck to take a view of this wonderful place. That was an dark evening, I had a headache caused by a tough mistake. “Maybe I should take a little walk out side. I need some fresh air and a silenced environment to think about it.” I think. The soft wind blew on my face, which made my eyesight became fuzzy. In the unseen world, a strange force attract me to the backfield. Far away from the blackfield, it seems like there is a red light shining in the sky. “That’s impossible. There is no light like that at the backfield and it is not a plane. The shape looks like...a tall tower!” My curiosity forced me stepping out to it. 

Closing to the cloud-kissing radio tower, I suddenly felt a burst. When I recovered my eyesight, I found that I was in a huge city. Around the tower, there is a tall wall around it. The tall radio tower may be the center of the city, which controls everything. I looked around, there are full of high-rise building. Several fountains made the city become more beautiful. I was amazed because I could not see anyone on the road, but I am sure someone are taking care of this clean city. On the radio tower, I saw the name of the city, Waterfront Park City.

I love the feeling when I walked alone on the road. When I am doing something else, for example playing video games, I always like to choose some characters different with others’ choice. This unique feeling can always satisfies me. 

When I reached the edge of the city, a big lake around the city stopped me. I stepped forward because the time was very late, then I found that I could step on the lake but did not touch the water. I turned around and tried to take a full view of the city, and I found I direction signal “Welfare Lake. Remember to be happy everyday!”  The lake around the city has a special ability, it can save everyone’s sadness in it. I tried to tell to the lake about my headache. Suddenly the kind burst came again, the water in the lake absorbed those worries. Then a sound appeared in my mind. “The more worries it absorbs, the darker the water is.” Now the lake is still present as sky blue.When I have something that makes me feel depressed, I can came back to the lake. Maybe in some day it will be dark as ink, but at that time I will be old. 

 I never tell about the city with my friends, because I do no want the lake turned dark to fast. Actually, the lake was transparent, before I told it I had homework during Thanksgiving break.

Strong and Weak

Strong

1.My caps are like two kids watching at me and it looks like asking me to bring them out and enjoy the sun.

2.All of these friends make my life become more interesting and convenient, and this is why I am glad to have them around me!

3. Table lamp is just like my body who help me to illuminate my table when I need to do my homework.

4.My daily necessities are standing on the shelf, they are like my personal guard to see whether I'm doing my homework or not during study hall.

5.When there is a problem or question that I don’t understand, I can just ask it and I will know the answer.

Weak

1.Everyday when I go back to dorm, I can sit on my comfortable chair and enjoy my wonderful free time.

2.At the right side of the table is an old wardrobe, sometimes it like to dress itself up with my clothes when I am not in my room.

3. Oh! I forgot one of my best friend-computer.

4.It is just like my second teacher in the school or at dorm.

5. Don't forget the Snapple on the floor, all of my energy is come from them.

Food

This break I had a lot delicious meal in New York. I still remember the Chinese hamburger we ate during the break. Almost every night Allen liu went out to buy Chinese hamburger for us as the food taken later at night because he always loses our game. Chinese hamburgers are really popular in New York. There is always a long line in front of the restaurant. Chinese hamburgers look similar as normal hamburger but it is white and oblate. In the white bread we can see brown meat and green pepper inside.  In Chinese, Chinese hamburgers are named meat in bread. It smell incredible good. People can smell it far away from it. When we ate those Chinese hamburger in the cabin, the enticing smell were full of the cabin. It tasted even better its smell. It gave me a satisfaction when I ate it. It was easily to take and really delicious. 

creative writing

                          There is a place you can not see

    There is a place in the world you can not find out, but I know where it is. This place located in CA campus and it is my proud. I am proud because no one can see it except me. I love this feeling. When I am doing something else, for example playing video games, I always like to choose some characters different with others choose. I named this place Avalon. It is at the backfield, with a small lake. People can step on the lake but do not touch the water. On the other side of the lake there is a city built on the hills. People can not see them will pass through those buildings. In the middle of the city there is a tall radio tower, which controls the city. The lake beside the city has a special ability, it can save your sadness in it. When I have something that makes me feel depressed, I can tell to the lake. The water in the lake with absorb those worries. The more worries it absorbs, the darker the water is. Now the lake is still sky blue. Maybe some day it will be dark as ink, but at that time I will be old. I never get into the city because these is a kind of magic inside. People get into there will use all of their efforts to look for happiness. I am afraid if I get into the city, I will give up my studying because I do not feel happy when I do my homework during break.

Creative observation

·                                 My secret base

·        There is a pair of gloves under my pillow all the time. The color of these cotton gloves are black and white. They are more like woman’s gloves. Check pattern design are normal, we can see them everywhere. These gloves has stayed with me since I was in 8th grade in China, which was 4 years ago from now. These pair of gloves are my container of my memories. Since I first time got them, they always accompanies me every night. There are something I can not explain clearly between these gloves and me. They were birthday present but they don’t only have the meaning of birthday present for me. Most of the time I see them as a kind of spiritual ballast. If I have to describe them in a sense, they are nostalgia. I repose all my fine memories inside. People always have their bad days. Our hearts want to be placated when they are not strong enough. As if my gloves can give me strength, I can feel the warmth from them. Like there is a magic inside, it brings me out of the dark all the time. Even I have left the person who gave me the pair gloves half of the earth, I still feel the connection between us. Whatever the connection still exist or not, I can feel that emotion every time I see the gloves. That memory can not be relinquished forever. When I get old, I hope I can still see the scenes of those days when I am holding the pair of gloves.

Blog 7

                         I love those hard-working antagonists

Have you ever played with telescope? I think almost everyone did it kind of thing. There are a lot of kinds of telescopes in the world. For example, there are telescopes which are invented by Kepler, Newton and Galileo. This fall, our school varsity players gave us a brilliant show called “Galileo”. This two-hour show included Galileo’s whole life after he invented telescope. From the beginning which Galileo found that the earth goes around the sun, the conflicts between Galileo and the church has not stopped until Galileo’s death. Human nature was depicted so clearly in the show. Everyone has their own personality.

When the show started, I was attracted by the stage. Actually I haven’t enjoyed any reality show before. With the excited emotion, I completely focused on the show, Galileo. “The language was hard.” That was the first idea came into my mind. I did some research before the show. Writer of this show, Bertolt Brecht was a German writer. The first vision of the play he wrote was translated in old English. It was really hard for me, an international student to understand that kind of elusive language. On the other hand, it gave me more chance to focus on the performance of the players. Although Galileo was played by an female player, I could still feel a kind of heroic spirit that Galileo in the early period had. He was not afraid of anything, like all the scientists did. They were crazy about their experiment, they believed that the truth could mean everything. When Galileo introduced the solar system to his trainee, I could see his confidence and pride from the player’s face and intonation. 

The conflict between Galileo and the church was an important point in the show. The same as other plays, there is a protagonist in the show Galileo. The church tried to prevent Galileo’s experiment. I am not interesting about religion at all. I always think gods are fake things. On the players’ face, I could see the scorn easily. The performance was really vivid. Compare with the positive characters, I think some of the villains had a better performance.

I could say that this show gave me a brand new vision of Galileo. Before I watched the show, Galileo’s figure in my mind was a thoughtful scholar. He should be steady and ripe. After I watched the show, I found that, he was more like a self-opinion child. He chased for his own science blindly. He didn’t understand the ways of the world. As all the normal scientists did, he could give up his life for his favorite astronomy. By the contrast, I prefer to say that the antagonists drove the whole play. They pushed forward the plot. They gave me a deeper memory that Galileo does. It was really successful to create those antagonists.

Generally, the show gave us a lot of space to think about. How should we finish our aim, straightly or roundly? It was a awesome show and gave me a lot of fun.

Playwright Brecht research

Bertolt Brecht was one of the most influential playwrights of the 20th century. His works include The Threepenny Opera (1928) with composer Kurt Weill, Mother Courage and Her Children (1941), The Good Person of Szechwan (1943), and The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui (1958). Brecht was born in Augsburg, Bavaria, in 1898, and the two world wars directly affected his life and works. He wrote poetry when he was a student but studied medicine at the Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich. After military service during World War I, he abandoned his medical studies to pursue writing and the theater.

A member of the Independent Social Democratic Party, Brecht wrote theater criticism for a Socialist newspaper from 1919 to 1921. His plays were banned in Germany in the 1930s, and in 1933, he went into exile, first in Denmark and then Finland. He moved to Santa Monica, California, in 1941, hoping to write for Hollywood, but he drew the attention of the House Un-American Activities Committee. Although he managed to deflect accusations of being a Communist, he moved to Switzerland after the hearings. He relocated to East Berlin in 1949 and ran the Berliner Ensemble, a theater company. As a director, he advocated the “alienation effect” in acting—an approach intended to keep the audience emotionally uninvolved in the plights of the characters.

Brecht’s poetry is collected in Poems 1913-1956 (1997) and Poetry and Prose: Bertolt Brecht (2003). He wrote a wide variety of poetry, including occasional poems, poems he set to music and performed, songs and poems for his plays, personal poems recording anecdotes and thoughts, and political poems. Poet Michael Hofmann, in “Singing About the Dark Times: The Poetry of Bertolt Brecht” for the Liberal,commented, “In the course of a mobile, active and engaged life, the poems were the intelligent, compressed, adaptable and self-contained form for both his private and his public address.”

Bertolt Brecht died in 1956. He is buried in Berlin.

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/bertolt-brecht

Galileo

Galileo was and Italian mathematician, physicist, astronomer and pioneer of scientific revolution. He invented the balance and thermometer and was one of the founders of modern experimental science. His law of free fall, found out by a famous experiment on the leaning tower of Pisa, made he became famous in people. This experiment completely overturned Aristotle’s ideas.Galileo’s  refuted Ptolemy's geocentric system and strongly supported Copernicus's heliocentric theory. He is known as "the father of the modern mechanics", "the father of modern science"now. The work for the establishment of the theoretical system of Newton laid the foundation of the .Galileo believed that experience is the only source of knowledge, we can figure out the truth only by using experiment mathematics method.  He strongly supported the sun is the center of the universe so he got punished by the pope. His later life spent under house arrest. He was the first person who got a large number of achievements by using the telescope to observe the celestial bodies. His telescope played a significant role in the in seventeenth Century's science and world outlook. Based on the experimental science of  Galileo, Newton began to look for natural rules. Galileo made the modern natural science grow.

In-class Writing Activity

10th Nov. 2014

Dear Ms Guarino,
    I am writing to apologize for my late homework. The assignment you assigned on Friday was due on this Monday, but I did not even start yet. I am so sorry that I did not hand on the homework on time.
    My tortoise gave a birth this weekend so I was in a muddle. I never helped somebody deliver  before.  It was so hard for me to take care about my tortoise.  Unfortunately she died because of dystocia. It broke my heart. I could not control the sadness so I lost myself for the whole weekend. I could not leave her little eggs alone so I used a lot of time on taking care of it. Therefore, I could not get the  necessary information from the library. As a result, I could not hand on my homework on time.
    Now I am fully recovered with all the information. I will hand on my homework as fast as I can after I finish it, and I will try my best to hand in my homework on time next time. My hamster is not pregnant yet.

Sincerely
Zen Fan

OMG My goals...

                         OMG! My goals...

My three goals to the classes.

First one is finishing homework on time.
Second one is writing good articles.
Third is getting a good grade in writing session.

Those were my 3 goals at the beginning of the year. Actually I forgot about some of those goals after I wrote them. But I follow the main direction I chose at the beginning of the year. I worked hard on writing essays. These two months were so different with last year. For writing class, I felt the homework was too much at the beginning, because I seldom wrote for 500-600 words in English before. I was not familiar with it. After these two months, I feel my writing skill improved a lot. I can not believe I have done so much work. That was amazing. 

For the first goal which is finishing homework on time, I was so sorry that I did not figure out when should we due blog. For real, that was the first time I heard that students should due homework on Saturday. I thought a lot about it when I heard I was 2 days late. I can not understand at all at the beginning. I have a bad habit that I never look at the portal until Sunday evening. Ms Guarino’s writing class helped me change my bad habit. Now I will take a look at portal on Friday evening and finish the homework on Saturday. When I heard I was late to due my homework, I knew that I must improve that and now I am improving it.

My second goal was writing good articles. I can not say something absolutely for this goal. My grammar was not that bad so I can say that I did kind of well in my grammar part. As the significant moment essay said, I did too much in analysis. I thought that motions can affect people the most so I misunderstood the importance of stories. My analysis looked fell into parts when I didn’t have enough stories. It can not called pathos if I even do not have logos. I tried to change this after Ms Guarino  told me, and it worked. My essay looked more colorful that before, and I have more interests in writing it. I feel happy about I am keeping improving.

My third goal was getting a good grade in writing session. This one is the thing I am worrying about the most. The only subject I can not predict is writing, because I got some 70+ points in blogs. This may hurt my grade a lot. If I got a B- then I can not get a high grade for my first GPA this year. I wonder that at least I can get a B then I still have chance to get First Honor. 

I knew that I still have a lot of thing to do in writing. After waste the first two month chaotically, I think my writing lesson will walk on a right path.

blog

                                   Task my brain

When I first time got this homework, I thought it was so easy. I am really good at writing essay about mental actions. When I first time finished this essay I feel confident. But when I heard a about stories and analysis, I found a big problem of my essay. Instead of writing too much stories, I put too much analysis in the essay. Classmates read their essays in the class, then they start to count sentences for stories and sentences for analysis. My result was 10 and 50. My essay was totally different with theirs. With nearly 40 differences of stories, I found that I should add a lot of stories in my significant moment essay. What I thought about the significant moment essay was using a number of description of mental action to describe a scene. Through my mental action, readers can figure out what the environment was. Ms Guarino asked us to write 500 words for the essay. That was a lot of work I thought. It was very hard to use 500 words to write about a significant moment with half stories and half analysis. I am used to write analysis in essay because it can show my true feeling to affect the readers. It was a useful way to get higher grade. It seems like this way has a problem. Without describing the stories, it can not arouse people’s sympathies. I really hate to have the same thing with others, writing paper, playing games or having vision angle. So when I found I was different with all my classmates I was a little bit happy even it was wrong. When I tried to fix it I found another problem. It is really to add stories into an significant essay. When I tried to add some more stories about my Chinese and American life, I found that my theme was away from my topic depression, fear and expectation. I focused on depression, fear and expectation for my whole essay and the significant moment was I stayed in the airport and waited for the plane. What I thought should be my main part of the essay. I thought analysis is always good for anywhere but I am wrong. Sometimes too much analysis makes the essay became boring. To writing an interesting essay, I must add some more fun stories although my topic was depressed. I wrote about what my grandparents reacted when I left my home which is part of my flashing back. Then I wrote about some predictions of the future, which have happened now. It became most of my stories in my essay. I think it is fun to read about it. How a good significant moment attracts people is it has a point with can catch readers sympathies. If people have the same thoughts with me and they read the essay, they may fill the same ways with me. But I wrote too much analysis in my essay, so it makes it harder to catch people’s sympathy. I still need to work on adding more stories in my essay.

final draft

  

                   Separated Past and Future 

     Checking the phone, I couldn’t stop my missing reveal out from my face. Those messages wouldn’t include anything about me. I was standing in the huge airport and thinking about what should I do. I was heading to America. 16 years old is a age for Chinese students get into high school. I got in high school too, in America. I was leaving the home I stayed for 16 years. I still remember when I was leaving my home. When I saw the tear drops on my grandfather’s face, I gave him a forced smile. I never saw he tear. He stood in the parking place for a long time. Since I was born, my grandmother never left me for more than 2 weeks. I know that she would take sleeping pills tonight. When I left, I found the best place for me had been far away from me. What came up in my mind were depression fear and expectation. I found that depression, fear and expectation accompanied with me on the way to the future

I learnt that I needed to focus more on my own positive  expectations rather than being held back by depression and fear.

      Past was difficult to relinquish. I thought a lot when I sat on the seat. I was leaving the world with them, my families and friends. After I go, their lives continue. My friends went on different ways after that summer. We were the best team of the world. 3 years of middle school gave us uncountable memories that can not be erased. Different from American, classmates in China have much closer relationships. More than 40 people work, eat and do activities as a tight group. 3 years of middle school may become the rarest memory of my school life, but I was leaving. Distress was full of my mind, even they said do not miss them. I still want to study and play with them. those kind of life were repeated day by day for 9 years. It was really hard to make that decision. I missed them but at that time I must leave them away. “There is no not with desair.” I told myself. I was nearly cried.

      Future would be hard to foresee. The experience I had in China can not fit in America anymore. Since I arrived in JFK airport, I would be a foreigner. That position cqhange was hard to be accept in a short time. I was scared. I was the only one who can take care of myself. Even I told my parents I would look after myself, I knew I can not do that much. Everything would be different there. I left my familiar room; what waiting for me is a stranger. I dropped my study; what waiting for me is another language. I was really scared that I can’t do well there. At that time, how could I say to my teacher? I was top student in middle school, but I cannot find a reason to study hard after I left. No one can help me to figure out what should I do anymore. I was leaving, there would be no one focus on me everyday. How could I face to my friends? Everything was unknown. 

      But I was also going with hope. There was an unknown future, waiting outside the plane. It was unknown, so it had infinite possibility. That brand new world had already opened its door. Who knows what would happen in the future. It might be a world that more suitable for me. I was holding my fantasy dream in my hands. Why I always think about bad things? New friends were there, New classes were there. Those were my new life. Although I am a person who wants to live in the past, I could not stop my expecting. America was that mystical and remote before, but this time I would stay there for several years. It was a real satire for me that I left precious past to look for a unreachable future. “Don’t be afraid.” I told myself. Although it could not give me courage anymore.

      I was distracted at that time until I found some lights. All kinds of emotion came into my mind. Took out my flight ticket, I finally went aboard. I already chose this way, life doesn’t come back. What I should do was put all distracting thoughts away. With the expectation, I may have a better life that before. This was how I did,  “Admit the reality.” I told myself. That was the only thing I can do. There was no use to be cranky.  Maybe think about what should I do for 16 hours trip would be the best thing to do. Only the expectation can help me keep growing up. It is always good to be positive.

Separated Past and Future

  

                   Separated Past and Future 

     Checking the phone, I couldn’t stop my missing reveal out from my face. Those messages wouldn’t include anything about me. I was stand in the huge airport and thinking about what should I do. I was heading to America. 16 years old is a age for Chinese students get into high school. I got in high school too, in America. I was leaving the home I stayed for 16 years. I still remember when I was leaving my home. When I saw the tear drops on my grandfather’s face, I gave him a forced smile. I never saw he tear. He stood in the parking place for a long time. Since I was born, my grandmother never left me for more than 2 weeks. I know that she would take sleeping pills tonight. When I left, I found the best place for me had been far away from me. What came up in my mind were depression fear and expectation.

      Past was difficult to relinquish. I thought a lot when I sat on the seat. I was leaving the world with them, my families and friends. After I go, their lives continues. My friends went on different ways after that summer. We were the best team of the world. 3 years of middle school gave us uncountable memories that can not be erased. Different from American, classmates in China have much closer relationships. More than 40 people work, eat and do activities as a tight group. 3 years of middle school may become the rarest memory of my school life, but I was leaving. Distress was full of my mind, even they said do not miss them. 

      Future would be hard to foresee. The experience I had in China can not fit in America anymore. Since I arrived in JFK airport, I would be a foreigner. That position change was hard to be accept in a short time. I was scared. I was the only one who can take care of myself. Even I told my parents I would look after myself, I knew I can not do that much. Everything would be different there. I left my familiar room; what waiting for me is an stranger. I dropped my study; what waiting for me is another language. I was really scared of I can’t do well there. At that time, how could I say to my teacher? How could I face to my friends? Everything was unknown. 

      But I was also going with hope. There was an unknown future, waiting outside the plane. It was unknown, so it had infinite possibility. That brand new world had already opened its door. Who knows what would happen in the future. It might be a world that more suitable for me. I was holding my fantasy dream in my hands. Why I always think about bad thing? New friends were there, New classes were there. Those were my new life. Although I am a person who wants to live in the past, I could not stop my expecting. America was that mystical and remote before, but this time I would stay there for several years. It was a real satire for me that I left precious past to look for a unreachable future. “Don’t be afraid.” I told myself. Although it could not give me courage anymore.

      I was distracted at that time. All kinds of emotion came into my mind. Took out my flight ticket, I finally went aboard. I already chose this way, life doesn’t come back. What I should do was put all distracting thoughts away. “Admit the reality.” I told myself. That was the only thing I can do. There was no use to be cranky.

significant moment

Zen Fan

Writing and comp 3

10/7/2014

Ms. Guarino

                      Separated Past and Future 

What came up in my mind were depression, fear and expectation.

Past was difficult to relinquish. Checking the phone, I couldn’t stop my missing reveal out from my face. Those messages wouldn’t include anything about me. I am leaving the world with them, my families and friends. After I go, their lives continues. My friends go by different ways after that summer. We were the best team of the world. 3 years of middle school gave us uncountable memories that can not be erased. Different from American, classmates in China have more closer relationships. More than 40 people work, eat and do activities as a tight group. 3 years of middle school may become the rarest memory of my school life, but now I am leaving. Distress was full of my mind, even they said do not miss them. When I saw the tear drops on my grandfather’s face, I gave him a smile. I never saw he tear. He stood in the parking place for a long time. Since I was born, my grandmother never left me for more than 2 weeks. I know that she would take sleeping pills tonight. When I left, I found the best place for me had been far away from me.

Future would be hard to foresee. The experience I had in China can not fit in America anymore. Since I arrive in JFK airport, I would be a foreigner. That position change is hard to be accept in a short time. I am scared. I am the only one who can take care of myself. Even I told my parents I will look after myself, I know I can do that much. Everything would be different there. I left my familiar room; what waiting for me is an stranger. I dropped my study; what waiting for me is another language. I am really scared of I can’t do well there. At that time, how can I say to my teacher? How can I face to my friends? Everything is unknown. 

But I was also going with hope. There was an unknown future, waiting outside the plane. It was unknown, so it had infinite possibility. That brand new world had already opened its door. Who knows what would happen in the future. It might be a world that more suitable for me. I was holding my fantasy dream in my hands. Why I always think about bad thing? New friends are there, New classes are there. Those are my new life. Although I am a person who wants to live in the past, I can not stop my expecting. America was that mystical and remote before, but this time I would stay there for several years. It is really a satire for me that I left precious past to look for a unreachable future. “Don’t be afraid.” I told myself. Although it could not give me courage anymore.