OMG My goals...

                         OMG! My goals...

My three goals to the classes.

First one is finishing homework on time.
Second one is writing good articles.
Third is getting a good grade in writing session.

Those were my 3 goals at the beginning of the year. Actually I forgot about some of those goals after I wrote them. But I follow the main direction I chose at the beginning of the year. I worked hard on writing essays. These two months were so different with last year. For writing class, I felt the homework was too much at the beginning, because I seldom wrote for 500-600 words in English before. I was not familiar with it. After these two months, I feel my writing skill improved a lot. I can not believe I have done so much work. That was amazing. 

For the first goal which is finishing homework on time, I was so sorry that I did not figure out when should we due blog. For real, that was the first time I heard that students should due homework on Saturday. I thought a lot about it when I heard I was 2 days late. I can not understand at all at the beginning. I have a bad habit that I never look at the portal until Sunday evening. Ms Guarino’s writing class helped me change my bad habit. Now I will take a look at portal on Friday evening and finish the homework on Saturday. When I heard I was late to due my homework, I knew that I must improve that and now I am improving it.

My second goal was writing good articles. I can not say something absolutely for this goal. My grammar was not that bad so I can say that I did kind of well in my grammar part. As the significant moment essay said, I did too much in analysis. I thought that motions can affect people the most so I misunderstood the importance of stories. My analysis looked fell into parts when I didn’t have enough stories. It can not called pathos if I even do not have logos. I tried to change this after Ms Guarino  told me, and it worked. My essay looked more colorful that before, and I have more interests in writing it. I feel happy about I am keeping improving.

My third goal was getting a good grade in writing session. This one is the thing I am worrying about the most. The only subject I can not predict is writing, because I got some 70+ points in blogs. This may hurt my grade a lot. If I got a B- then I can not get a high grade for my first GPA this year. I wonder that at least I can get a B then I still have chance to get First Honor. 

I knew that I still have a lot of thing to do in writing. After waste the first two month chaotically, I think my writing lesson will walk on a right path.

blog

                                   Task my brain

When I first time got this homework, I thought it was so easy. I am really good at writing essay about mental actions. When I first time finished this essay I feel confident. But when I heard a about stories and analysis, I found a big problem of my essay. Instead of writing too much stories, I put too much analysis in the essay. Classmates read their essays in the class, then they start to count sentences for stories and sentences for analysis. My result was 10 and 50. My essay was totally different with theirs. With nearly 40 differences of stories, I found that I should add a lot of stories in my significant moment essay. What I thought about the significant moment essay was using a number of description of mental action to describe a scene. Through my mental action, readers can figure out what the environment was. Ms Guarino asked us to write 500 words for the essay. That was a lot of work I thought. It was very hard to use 500 words to write about a significant moment with half stories and half analysis. I am used to write analysis in essay because it can show my true feeling to affect the readers. It was a useful way to get higher grade. It seems like this way has a problem. Without describing the stories, it can not arouse people’s sympathies. I really hate to have the same thing with others, writing paper, playing games or having vision angle. So when I found I was different with all my classmates I was a little bit happy even it was wrong. When I tried to fix it I found another problem. It is really to add stories into an significant essay. When I tried to add some more stories about my Chinese and American life, I found that my theme was away from my topic depression, fear and expectation. I focused on depression, fear and expectation for my whole essay and the significant moment was I stayed in the airport and waited for the plane. What I thought should be my main part of the essay. I thought analysis is always good for anywhere but I am wrong. Sometimes too much analysis makes the essay became boring. To writing an interesting essay, I must add some more fun stories although my topic was depressed. I wrote about what my grandparents reacted when I left my home which is part of my flashing back. Then I wrote about some predictions of the future, which have happened now. It became most of my stories in my essay. I think it is fun to read about it. How a good significant moment attracts people is it has a point with can catch readers sympathies. If people have the same thoughts with me and they read the essay, they may fill the same ways with me. But I wrote too much analysis in my essay, so it makes it harder to catch people’s sympathy. I still need to work on adding more stories in my essay.

final draft

  

                   Separated Past and Future 

     Checking the phone, I couldn’t stop my missing reveal out from my face. Those messages wouldn’t include anything about me. I was standing in the huge airport and thinking about what should I do. I was heading to America. 16 years old is a age for Chinese students get into high school. I got in high school too, in America. I was leaving the home I stayed for 16 years. I still remember when I was leaving my home. When I saw the tear drops on my grandfather’s face, I gave him a forced smile. I never saw he tear. He stood in the parking place for a long time. Since I was born, my grandmother never left me for more than 2 weeks. I know that she would take sleeping pills tonight. When I left, I found the best place for me had been far away from me. What came up in my mind were depression fear and expectation. I found that depression, fear and expectation accompanied with me on the way to the future

I learnt that I needed to focus more on my own positive  expectations rather than being held back by depression and fear.

      Past was difficult to relinquish. I thought a lot when I sat on the seat. I was leaving the world with them, my families and friends. After I go, their lives continue. My friends went on different ways after that summer. We were the best team of the world. 3 years of middle school gave us uncountable memories that can not be erased. Different from American, classmates in China have much closer relationships. More than 40 people work, eat and do activities as a tight group. 3 years of middle school may become the rarest memory of my school life, but I was leaving. Distress was full of my mind, even they said do not miss them. I still want to study and play with them. those kind of life were repeated day by day for 9 years. It was really hard to make that decision. I missed them but at that time I must leave them away. “There is no not with desair.” I told myself. I was nearly cried.

      Future would be hard to foresee. The experience I had in China can not fit in America anymore. Since I arrived in JFK airport, I would be a foreigner. That position cqhange was hard to be accept in a short time. I was scared. I was the only one who can take care of myself. Even I told my parents I would look after myself, I knew I can not do that much. Everything would be different there. I left my familiar room; what waiting for me is a stranger. I dropped my study; what waiting for me is another language. I was really scared that I can’t do well there. At that time, how could I say to my teacher? I was top student in middle school, but I cannot find a reason to study hard after I left. No one can help me to figure out what should I do anymore. I was leaving, there would be no one focus on me everyday. How could I face to my friends? Everything was unknown. 

      But I was also going with hope. There was an unknown future, waiting outside the plane. It was unknown, so it had infinite possibility. That brand new world had already opened its door. Who knows what would happen in the future. It might be a world that more suitable for me. I was holding my fantasy dream in my hands. Why I always think about bad things? New friends were there, New classes were there. Those were my new life. Although I am a person who wants to live in the past, I could not stop my expecting. America was that mystical and remote before, but this time I would stay there for several years. It was a real satire for me that I left precious past to look for a unreachable future. “Don’t be afraid.” I told myself. Although it could not give me courage anymore.

      I was distracted at that time until I found some lights. All kinds of emotion came into my mind. Took out my flight ticket, I finally went aboard. I already chose this way, life doesn’t come back. What I should do was put all distracting thoughts away. With the expectation, I may have a better life that before. This was how I did,  “Admit the reality.” I told myself. That was the only thing I can do. There was no use to be cranky.  Maybe think about what should I do for 16 hours trip would be the best thing to do. Only the expectation can help me keep growing up. It is always good to be positive.

Separated Past and Future

  

                   Separated Past and Future 

     Checking the phone, I couldn’t stop my missing reveal out from my face. Those messages wouldn’t include anything about me. I was stand in the huge airport and thinking about what should I do. I was heading to America. 16 years old is a age for Chinese students get into high school. I got in high school too, in America. I was leaving the home I stayed for 16 years. I still remember when I was leaving my home. When I saw the tear drops on my grandfather’s face, I gave him a forced smile. I never saw he tear. He stood in the parking place for a long time. Since I was born, my grandmother never left me for more than 2 weeks. I know that she would take sleeping pills tonight. When I left, I found the best place for me had been far away from me. What came up in my mind were depression fear and expectation.

      Past was difficult to relinquish. I thought a lot when I sat on the seat. I was leaving the world with them, my families and friends. After I go, their lives continues. My friends went on different ways after that summer. We were the best team of the world. 3 years of middle school gave us uncountable memories that can not be erased. Different from American, classmates in China have much closer relationships. More than 40 people work, eat and do activities as a tight group. 3 years of middle school may become the rarest memory of my school life, but I was leaving. Distress was full of my mind, even they said do not miss them. 

      Future would be hard to foresee. The experience I had in China can not fit in America anymore. Since I arrived in JFK airport, I would be a foreigner. That position change was hard to be accept in a short time. I was scared. I was the only one who can take care of myself. Even I told my parents I would look after myself, I knew I can not do that much. Everything would be different there. I left my familiar room; what waiting for me is an stranger. I dropped my study; what waiting for me is another language. I was really scared of I can’t do well there. At that time, how could I say to my teacher? How could I face to my friends? Everything was unknown. 

      But I was also going with hope. There was an unknown future, waiting outside the plane. It was unknown, so it had infinite possibility. That brand new world had already opened its door. Who knows what would happen in the future. It might be a world that more suitable for me. I was holding my fantasy dream in my hands. Why I always think about bad thing? New friends were there, New classes were there. Those were my new life. Although I am a person who wants to live in the past, I could not stop my expecting. America was that mystical and remote before, but this time I would stay there for several years. It was a real satire for me that I left precious past to look for a unreachable future. “Don’t be afraid.” I told myself. Although it could not give me courage anymore.

      I was distracted at that time. All kinds of emotion came into my mind. Took out my flight ticket, I finally went aboard. I already chose this way, life doesn’t come back. What I should do was put all distracting thoughts away. “Admit the reality.” I told myself. That was the only thing I can do. There was no use to be cranky.

significant moment

Zen Fan

Writing and comp 3

10/7/2014

Ms. Guarino

                      Separated Past and Future 

What came up in my mind were depression, fear and expectation.

Past was difficult to relinquish. Checking the phone, I couldn’t stop my missing reveal out from my face. Those messages wouldn’t include anything about me. I am leaving the world with them, my families and friends. After I go, their lives continues. My friends go by different ways after that summer. We were the best team of the world. 3 years of middle school gave us uncountable memories that can not be erased. Different from American, classmates in China have more closer relationships. More than 40 people work, eat and do activities as a tight group. 3 years of middle school may become the rarest memory of my school life, but now I am leaving. Distress was full of my mind, even they said do not miss them. When I saw the tear drops on my grandfather’s face, I gave him a smile. I never saw he tear. He stood in the parking place for a long time. Since I was born, my grandmother never left me for more than 2 weeks. I know that she would take sleeping pills tonight. When I left, I found the best place for me had been far away from me.

Future would be hard to foresee. The experience I had in China can not fit in America anymore. Since I arrive in JFK airport, I would be a foreigner. That position change is hard to be accept in a short time. I am scared. I am the only one who can take care of myself. Even I told my parents I will look after myself, I know I can do that much. Everything would be different there. I left my familiar room; what waiting for me is an stranger. I dropped my study; what waiting for me is another language. I am really scared of I can’t do well there. At that time, how can I say to my teacher? How can I face to my friends? Everything is unknown. 

But I was also going with hope. There was an unknown future, waiting outside the plane. It was unknown, so it had infinite possibility. That brand new world had already opened its door. Who knows what would happen in the future. It might be a world that more suitable for me. I was holding my fantasy dream in my hands. Why I always think about bad thing? New friends are there, New classes are there. Those are my new life. Although I am a person who wants to live in the past, I can not stop my expecting. America was that mystical and remote before, but this time I would stay there for several years. It is really a satire for me that I left precious past to look for a unreachable future. “Don’t be afraid.” I told myself. Although it could not give me courage anymore.

The chase

  It tells a story happened in her childhood. Boys invited her to join their sports. They took a snowball fight together. A snowball hit a driver's head and he started to chase them.
  What author learn about this experience is what ever they did in the childhood, they were always happy. They were happy to be exhausted and terrified.
  "If in that snow backyard the driver of the black Buick had cut our heads off, micky's and mine, I would have died happily, for nothing has required so much of me since as being chased all over Pittsburgh in the middle of winter running terrified, exhausted by this sainted, skinny, furious red headed man who wished to have a word with us. "
When I was reading this part, I felt I lost something. I lost my precious mind in these years. What always stayed in my mind before had gone. What made I lost those memory? Is it called a kind of growth? When I think about these things, the only thing comes up is regret. That can not be found back by acting like a child. We lost our childhoods from our mind.

Grammar Mistake

Article mistake   
 ”I pointed way for him when he was in low ebb.” In this sentence I missed an article before way. Many writers usually have this problem. A and an have the same meaning with one. A is used before consonant and an is used before vowel. They used to describe one kind of noun. In this sentence, I missed an indefinite article before way. What I want to present is “I” want to show a path for “him” to get out of the low ebb. In this sentence, “way” is a kind of thing that have different types. There are lots of way but not limit on one way, so we use a but not the. If a noun doesn’t have any article, it usually is wrong.

“Generally creative writing is the piece of writing that written follow people’s heart.” In this sentence I missed an a between is and piece. It said creative writing is a kind of writing. We should add an a before piece of writing. A piece of writing follow people’s heart is not specific so we use a but not the. 

“For example, if I say, "Let's read the book," I mean a specific book. If I say, "Let's read a book," I mean any book rather than a specific book.

Here's another way to explain it: The is used to refer to a specific or particular member of a group. For example, "I just saw the most popular movie of the year." There are many movies, but only one particular movie is the most popular. Therefore, we use the "A/an" is used to refer to a non-specific or non-particular member of the group. For example, "I would like to go see a movie." Here, we're not talking about a specific movie. We're talking about any movie. There are many movies, and I want to see any movie. I don't have a specific one in mind.”

(https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/540/01/)

How to avoid this problem in the future? I think when first we should read our essay after we write it. When we are reading we should focus on all the nouns we wrote. Articles are all related to nouns, so when we check every noun in the article, we can find out those wrong places easily. Using of indefinite article and definite article is harder. We need specify the noun is definite of not. For example a name usually is definite, but we don’t need to add “the” before it. An apple is not definite and start with vowel, so we use an before apple. After we know that articles are, we can avoid this mistake in our writing.